I’m not always sure about the other women around me; most of my friends are nice and not so competitive, but some women get a little weird. I’ve seen 40-year-old women get competitive with other girls about how nice their butts are--maybe they think Dov Charney wants their asses, too? And I’ve seen the same kinds of women of all ages get super-competitive about their looks and bodies.

I have nothing against women (or men for that matter) who are in great shape; it takes a lot of work in most cases and they should be proud of themselves. But at the same time, let’s recognize that none of us are entered in any Miss America contests and that we don’t have to be judged for our ability to walk around in high heels and bikinis at the same time.

And judging our bodies shouldn’t eat us alive. If we want better bodies, the formula is pretty simple: healthy eating + exercise. It’s not easy to do, but it works. I know, because when I reverse the formula as I did the other day when I ate an entire bag of the ridiculously delicious Trader Joe’s chocolate-covered potato chips, I gain weight. It’s that simple.

Keeping a healthy balance is hard. I’m really proud of my sister-in-law--she always looks fantastic, but works at it with lots of exercise. The best part is that she isn’t afraid to eat or drink a glass of wine once in a while. The most impressive part is that she is able to do it while raising two small children and while writing her dissertation. And I’ve never seen her condescend to anyone who wasn’t in as great of shape as she is.
I know a lot of women in my area who like to go to the Korean spa where women roam around naked freely and most of the women say they like it because almost every woman in the place has some kind of flaw on her body and the Korean spa a non-competitive environment where men aren’t allowed.

But I still see the women who base their entire self-esteem on their bodies, which can be both positive and negative. The positive is that many of them exercise a ton, but the downside is if they gain even a teeny bit of weight, they don’t eat. (Some women even do this when they are pregnant or nursing, which is a big no-no according to the baby experts.)I’m not always sure about the other women around me; most of my friends are nice and not so competitive, but some women get a little weird. I’ve seen 40-year-old women get competitive with other girls about how nice their butts are--maybe they think Dov Charney wants their older asses, too? And I’ve seen the same kinds of women of all ages get super-competitive about their looks and bodies.