Real Life Pick-Up Lines

Cheeseball #248A few weeks ago, after  careful and extremely scientific Facebook research,  I posted some of the more interesting and unfortunate pick-up lines my friends endured. Unfortunately, some of those I queried were a tad slow in their responses. So, without further ado, a few more pick-up lines. And, again, it's the same as in Jackass, for the love of God, please do not try any of these at home. Also, in case you were wondering, the latest responses have proven beyond a doubt that all men within two degrees of separation from me are total and complete cheese balls. 

From Chantal, Canadienne extraordinaire: I have a small sunflower tattoo on my shoulder and a guy came up to me in the bar and pushed it like a button (I guess because it looks like a circle). I quickly turned around and asked, "What are you doing?" He says, "Does this turn you on?" True story...at a bar called "On Tap" in Ottawa.

From Connie, who just happens to be my aunt and a hottie to boot: Sitting at a banquette in a middle table at a restaurant in San Francisco, thinking that the guy next to me is handsome ergo gay. He dropped a sugar packet at my feet, bent over to retrieve it and said, in a great Dutch accent, "You have such lovely legs they can't help but walk into my heart."

And from Erica, a secondary story of how much easier girls have it when they decide to take home a conquest: . After a music show, my friend went up to a really hot guy at a music show, checked the tag in the back of his shirt and said, "Just what I suspected, made in heaven." She went home with him. We thought it was interesting that it is much easier for a girl to pick-up a guy. 

Another line for females struggling to find that oh so perfect balance of flirtatiousness and wit: If you scratch my back, I'll shave yours. 

I've actually heard Faryn use that line, but thankfully she didn't have to bust out the razor.

From Jared, who was feeling a little left out by my female-only survey, the true-story of how his contractor boss met his wife. The wife-to-be was sitting on a bar-stool, crack hanging out a little more than it should have been when the contractor said, "I could spackle that for you." 

And from a friend who wishes to remain totally anonymous: the ultimate pick-up line from an obviously articulate master of the English language after roughly 23 cans of Bud-Light: Would you like to play a game of drink or strip?