Pantsless in Seattle
I've always wanted to participate in an Improv event, so I decided to "attend".
We met at a pre-disclosed location, and were given specific instructions, “Choose a stop in advance so not everybody is taking their pants off at once.” “Buy your tickets in advance.” and “Act natural while you take your pants off.”
We were then divided into two groups, gave a few cheers, and walked down to the station for our “mission”.
We tried to act cool as we walked past a huge TV camera down to the station. We passed families with suitcases on the ground beside them and waited for the train, which came two minutes later.
We boarded and I waited for “my” stop.
I had chosen stop #2 to de-pants myself, but chickened out because only one guy in our car had bared his boxers so far. At stop #3, one woman proudly stood up, took off her pants, sat down, and immediately started cackling with her companion. So much for acting natural.
I looked over at my friend who was quite stealthy- he took his pants off in the seat next to me and began to pretend to read his Russian novel without me even noticing his hairy legs. At the next stop, I waited until after the doors had closed and bravely took off my pants, and accidentally my shoes.
I tried in vain not to stare at the young dude in the middle of the car without pants. Two guys got on and took their pants off at the same time and nonchalantly started discussing the world economy.
We got off a couple of stops later.
There were about 5 or 6 of us waiting outside, all without pants. I not-so-surreptitiously took a picture. Across the way, four or five young “Hooligans” started asking why we had no pants on. One dude was genuinely confused and probably jealous and flashed us his boxers. His girlfriend was less than impressed, but I am hopeful that this made his day and changed his world view.
We continued to get on and off at different stops. More and more pantsless riders intermingled with “regular” passengers.
One older and slightly suspicious-looking man had a camera “cleverly” disguised in a plastic Target bag with a hole cut out for the lens. He started taking pictures of some of the younger girls. When confronted by a woman about his picture-taking, he loudly defended his first-amendment rights. Several people were creeped out by him and got off at the next stop, me definitely included.
The day was a success, but not as scintillating as I had secretly hoped. However, I did learn some lessons on the trip:
- The fewer passengers in the car, the more the weirdos stand out.
- It’s easier to be nonchalant when someone’s ass isn’t right in front of you.
- The trip to Sea-Tac is longer than you think it is.
- Do not wear skimpy underwear for a pantsless transit ride unless you are completely comfortable with your butt and thighs.
For the best pictures I've seen of the event, check out this link from The Stranger.
