Last night, I was in need of a little girlie time; since none of the girls that I usually spend time with were available, I decided to enjoy myself alone by testing out a couple of the more alluring beauty products that I’ve seen for sale on TV.

The first product I tested was Smooth Away- the weird hair removal product. Now, I am not necessarily a hairy beast or all that hairier than the next woman, but I do have to remove my unwanted body hair somehow.

Waxing is expensive and painful, shaving is a laborious process for a tall woman, and I am never quite sure what to do my fine arm hairs.

The Smooth Away, with its pink packaging, seemed like the perfect option for me. Lucky for me, I happened to have one that I bought on a whim after spotting it for cheap at a drug store.

I quickly tore off the wrappings, and read the carefully written instructions to guide me through the process. There were two pads to use- one light pink, and a darker pink for heavy lifting and bristly hairs.

Let’s just say that I shouldn’t have wasted my time with the light pink pad- it was a piece of shit and didn’t take off a single arm hair.

After my failure with the pink pad, I busted out the darker pink pad for a run. I got a little excited and started rubbing my arm quickly with the pad and low and behold- hair started flying.  The Smooth Away actually took away my arm hairs.

Unfortunately, when I attempted the same procedure on my legs, The Smooth Away failed miserably- I was left with red, itchy legs that were just as hairy as when I started. If I had to grade the Hair Away, I would give it a “C-” and I would never ever use it on my face or pubic region.

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I wasn’t about to give up on my late-night TV girly product night and had one more product in my ammo- you, too, may have heard of the Strap Perfect concealer clip, which promises to uplift your breasts to the next cup without padding or buying an expensive push-up bra.

Since I was by myself, I had to figure out how to clip the back of the bra in the right place with the clip. As many things are, this was easier said than done.

When I finally got it clipped, my breasts were not noticeably larger, and in fact, the bra felt eight times more uncomfortable than it did before I got it. Also, since the purpose of the concealer is to push the back straps together, it did the opposite of conceal as my bra straps were brilliantly displayed.

If I had to rate the Strap Perfect concealer clip, I would give it an “F” for FAIL.