Wouldn’t it be nice if you could go to a bar, meet a guy, and know what exactly he’s talking about?

I’m concerned that you, as single women, don’t have the necessary information you need to understand what a man is really saying, so I have talked to numerous single guys to find their innermost thoughts.  Not surprisingly, they mostly originate from the lower of a man’s two brains.

Here are some translations, which you should keep on you at all times when you go out:

• “You’re Beautiful.” actually means, “I’m drunk enough that I might consider sleeping with you” or “You’re drunk enough that you might actually consider sleeping with me.”  ***It totally depends on which one of you has the biggest beer goggles on at that point in time.

• “I’m tired.” really means, “Will you come home and sleep with me tonight?” or in French “Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce-soir?”

• “Have I seen you before?” means “I’ve never seen you before, but you look like every other bimbo I’ve ever seen in this bar, so it’s definitely a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

• “I love the Gossip Girls!” means “Please sleep with me! I haven’t had sex with anything but my hand in four months.”

• “I’m married, but we’re getting separated because she never sleeps with me.” means “I’m married with four children and my wife thinks I’m at a business meeting and all I'm really hoping for is a blow job.”

• “If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” really means “I’m so fricking wasted there’s no way I could get it up tonight, so I might as well piss you off.”

• “Do you want to dance?” secretly means, “Will you give me the chance to rub my body all over you?”

• “You remind me of Samantha on “Sex and the City”' really means, “I am so getting laid tonight.”

• “I like your shirt.” really means, “Wow- could your shirt be any tighter?”

• “Do you want to play some pool with me?” is code for, “Let’s play pool together so that I can check out your ass as you bend over the pool table.”

I admit that these “lines” do not show guys in a very flattering light, but it’s important to consider their true objectives (getting laid), which may or may not be the same as yours before you get wasted. And, of course, all of the translations depend on the actual situation and the relative honesty of the guy talking.