If you are the kind of woman who embraces your “inner bitch” as a way to get in touch with yourself or to somehow embrace your inner feminism in honor of “Bitch” magazine or any of the books glorifying bitchiness, I have a very simple and clear piece of advice:

Don’t.

Think about what embracing your inner bitch really means- to my way of looking at the world, it means that  you are, in fact, a bitch. I know two women who are quite comfortable with their bitchiness, which is fine, only one  of which who is stupid enough to loudly proclaim her deep and undying passion for her inner bitch to the world.

Is that really something to be proud of?

How would you feel about a man who “embraced his inner asshole”? Would that be something that you would consider a turn-on? And yes, I know that some women accidentally go for the assholes and not the nice guys, but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about.

I’m talking some guy in the bar smiling and  publicly stating, “ I’m an asshole.”  

I know quite a few women, and I don’t know a single one that would find that remotely attractive, unless of course, they were extremely inebriated, which is something to be debated at another time and was briefly covered in an earlier post.

Let’s change the situation a little bit. So, there you are at the same bar, and you hear some drunk 20-something year old woman loudly proclaim, “I’m not just a Be-atch, I’m a Bitch.”

Again, would you be impressed with this line of thinking? Why would a woman actually think that it’s a positive thing to say?

I think it’s safe to assume that that says something about her character and not just a reflection of how many cocktails she drank that night. There is definitely a difference between calling yourself a Bitch and a Be-atch, which actually has nicer connotations involving the sisterhood.  

On the other hand, calling yourself a “Bitch” is pretty much giving yourself permission to be a Bitch at any time or place for whatever reason, which is pretty inexcusable. I know that all women (even the ones that seem the nicest) have their bitchy moments and that PMS in and of itself can be classified as a Bitch to deal with, but allowing yourself to get away with behavior that is normally inexcusable will not earn you any friends in the long run.

So, maybe if you quit calling yourself a Bitch, you will stop being one.

Photo from joshparents Photostream