The truth is that the biggest differences aren't between the sexes, but between older people and their young counterparts. The problem with 20 year olds isn't that they are young and hot. It's more like they live their lives as if they were characters on 90210 instead of as actual people. Take the party i went to last weekend as a case-in-point.  Let me preface this by saying that i am  more than slightly older than the average guest at the party, which was for my brother-in-law's 21.

The first best thing to happen was when the hot young skater dude arrived with his girlfriend at 10, drank several shots of her Grey Goose Vodka with his arms draped around her look-alike in all things but dress (his gf was hot, but had a skirt that barely covered her more than ample ass and the thighs of a 40-year-old), and left with the other girl. He tried to make a dramatic announcement that he was taking the booze and the girl for a "better time". We all thought he was going to smoke outside and step back in, smile on face, but he kept to his word and left for parts unknown. Tragically, the gf went to bed early, even before the 100 multi-colored jello shots she made for the party were consumed, her mini skirt giving the phrase "cover your ass" new meaning.

The next best thing to happen involved the hot tub and sadly, my brother-in-law. Not looking too well after three keg stands, a failed puke attempt and a successful puke attempt, he continued to rally as only the young can do and started the hot tub party off, fully clothed, starting off a chain of events he would surely regret later, if only he hadn't reached the black-out point in his already hazy evening. His gf, who is said to be out of his league, but is somehow attached to the guy was already getting pissed off by his antics when her best friend from high school, a hot little red-head, decided to slide into next to him in nothing more than her thong. more people "dived" into the hot tub soon after, all male and below the age of 20, but her favorite was my brother-in-law.

This did not go over well with the girlfriend. She got angry, telling her boyfriend's already hammered mom about the situation and venting to his sister. his friend told her it would be ok.

Just to help (haha), i went outside to assess the situation. The be-atch in question was smoking a cigarette, was still dangerously close, and wasn't being friendly to anyone even remotely standing in her line of vision. it did not look good. Loyal to the sisterhood, the birthday boy's sister enlisted his friend to keep watch on the situation. We all tried to appear concerned, but whenever the gf was out of the room (for some odd reason she wouldn’t go outside herself or get in hot tub, either from a deep-seated fear of water or an abnormal insecurity about her pretty-good body), we enjoyed the situation. It was live, so it was better than tv, but had all the elements of a really, really bad tv drama. I was in heaven.

I am sorry to say this story has no end, I had to leave, and haven’t been updated on the situation. I heard rumors that the mother got involved. I also heard tales of more debauchery. Perhaps the worst of it is that the jello-shot girl went to bed so early, or the two could have commiserated on their lousy boyfriends. Or perhaps the worst of it is that I forgot to bring my camera. What do you think?